Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize