I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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