Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
