So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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