i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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