What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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