dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
