I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
