talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
