Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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