Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she smelled like a LAN party
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
