Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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