11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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