Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
