listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
