i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
