Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
