It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
