Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
