i just had sex bonerless
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
