Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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