Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
