Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Actions speak louder than pants.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
