I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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