yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the day after is always just damage control
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
