Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
