I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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