I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
