the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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