I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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