well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
