dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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