once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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