Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
