My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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