There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
