absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
