Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
