I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
