were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
