Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
