it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
