I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
