So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
