Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
