I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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