i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
