i love accidental penises.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize