found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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