Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
