2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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