I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
