I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
