People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I smell like Dick and happiness
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
