HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
