I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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