God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
