We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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