You really coming over, don't trick.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
