Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
