I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
