Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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