i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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