ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
